How not to find your ancestors in our genealogy forum

This here is a blog but some Carcaranons and I maintain a separate Carcarfamilies group site. This is all talk here but on that group site, Carcar family genealogists have banded together, conscious of the fact, and taking advantage of it,  that most of our families are inter-connected, and that we can actually benefit from each other’s work.  As we reconstruct our respective family trees, we file our works-in-progress in the group site.  In case of interconnection of family trees, the various family files give us the chance to grab from each others works to add to our own.

This is all because we have a dream, and many share that dream, that we give our finished products to an entity in Carcar, library or museum or association, to benefit family researchers in the years, decades, centuries ahead.

But we also accommodate family inquiries. Why? Because searchers can also help our own work, too, when they contribute their own lines to our family trees. The object being we have a quid pro quo arrangement: we help each other.

But here’s what usually happens:

8 out of ten people who write to me out of the blue through our group site couch their query so stingily with information that our exchange would go the tortuous route of something like this before it gets like really obliging:

Dear carcarfamilies,

I heard you are researching clan Cruz [let us say].

My grandfather is a Cruz and I would be interested to hear some more …

My family was originally from Davao [let us say].

Do you know what the name means?

Drop me a line when you have the time.

Clio [let us say]

– – – oOo – – –

[ASIDE: What is this? She wants me to write her everything I know of the Cruz family?]

Hello, Clio ..

Where are you based now?  You’re originally from Davao, but on the chance that before that your family came from Carcar–did you ever hear mention within the family about having roots in Carcar, Cebu?

I have some data on Cruz of Carcar but I’d need your family tree to find out where to link your branch to which ancestors or line. Please give me a tracing of your tree from your self to the earliest Cruz ancestor you can? If you could reach to great-grandparents or even earlier, we might see some light–assuming of course you derive from Carcar.

Please include dates of birth, etc. because that will make it easier for me to search by placing your ancestors on a generational timeline. If you don’t know when your grandfather was born, just tell me when your father was born and that would be a big help for our calculations. Anyway, know brothers and/or sisters of your grandfather? This would help, too.

The family name meaning? Hoping my elementary Spanish is enough, I think Cruz means cross—not the street because that would be a verb something like atravesar, but rather the Christian symbol, a noun.  Anyway, it’s not Cruise and you may not be related to Tom, after all.  May I diplomatically as I can therefore suggest for you to get that Cruise family coat-of-arms off your email signature?

– – – oOo – – –

Thanks for your reply.  About my family tree, I haven’t got a clue.  I only knew personally my grandfather, who (according to my father) came from Davao.  Not even sure which area of Davao, city, provinces. My father was born in Pinamungajan, Cebu but his parents brought the entire family to Mindanao when he was still a teenager.   That is it.  But I’d really want to trace our family and hopefully meet relatives.

I am in the other side of world (Canada) [let us say].

– – oOo – – –

[ASIDE: Sigh … She really wants to trace her family but there’s nothing she’s shared that can do that, or help me do that. We’re still on square one. She’s not even given out the name of her grandfather. ]

Dear Clio,

The information in your last letter would be tremendous in your family history, but it does not help us for our purpose—to trace you. The Cruz family is the largest clan in Carcar and I need a generational profile of your grandfather to narrow down our search. Without these items of information I am still in square one.

Clio, you’ve not given me the names of your grandparents, or even your father’s. Even in a novena petition you have to give out the names. And He is God.

– – – oOo – – –

Hehehe. My grandfather was Valentin.

– – – oOo – – –

Dear Clio,

I guess, he must have been quite a valentin that you seem not to know the name of your grandmother or even your father. Please tell me your grandmother’s name who must have come to Davao along with your grandfather and your father.

– – – oOo – – –

My grandmother was Felipa.

– – – oOo – – –

[Grrr…It’s been almost two months with this particular exchange…]

Dear Clio,

And her surname? And your father’s name.

– – – oOo – – –

My grandmother was Felipa Cruz. My father was name Jose.

– – – oOo – – –

Dear Clio,

Why, was your grandfather and your grandmother related? They had the same surname?

– – – oOo – – –

My grandparents were married.

– – – oOo – – –

Clio dear,

I muse sometimes where this is going. The object of all this is for me to have clues to aid me with our search. You’re not deliberately setting up a puzzle, are you?

Just cough out when your grandfather was born. If you know any of his siblings, better because even if I do not have your grandfather on my files, but if I have the names of those siblings you give me, that’ll solve it, too. And your grandmother’s name before she was married, too. Please do that. If your father is still alive, please have him help you, ask him about this. He could just be in the next room from you.

I really plan to get this resolved before any of us two die.

Very truly yours,

Carcarfamilies